I hate being needy but I love to help people in need…seems a bit of a problem if everyone is like me.
We have been home from the Philippines for almost 1 month as of this weekend and I believe we underestimated the toll a transition like this would take after living there for 7 months. There have been tears and fights, there have been many laughs and hugs. To also throw in a milestone birthday the same month causes a huge swing of emotional highs to the transitional mix.
On top of the transitioning, we are facing some challenges in the Philippines with the aquaponic farms. Because of weather, the farms have suffered and things were growing slow and small. The new farm is suffering because the system cycle has been difficult to manage from afar. Our team is amazing, helpful and responsive but it did bring us to a point that we thought Mike may have to return to the Philippines much sooner than expected. But we made a choice that we would not be making any large decisions in the month of May. We know when things are hard and emotional that your mind is not clear and may not serve you well. After waiting and praying and waiting some more, we realize that the money spent to go would be much better spent in investing in the farms to ensure their smooth production and we will use technology to ensure communication. Phew! That was a hard one filled with stress and anxiety and really pushed us into a place of neediness.
To need is to be in a state of requiring help and/or circumstances in which something is necessary, or that require some course of action.
We have been needy this month. Thank God for friends who let you come over and crash on their couch till midnight sometimes processing and other times talking nothing and laughing. Thank God for grandparents who take our teenagers for bike rides and pizza nights that bring a safeness to these changes. Thank God for IT emergencies that inject finances into our budget so we can continue to support the farm as well as enjoy turning 40. 😉 We have been well taken care of in our need – in our complete lack – God has filled the void with people and resources.
How often do we reach out and make it know that we require help? How often to circumstances in our life require some course of desperate action? I would bet to say many times we are in need, but not many times do we ask for help or make known our needs. And Why?
My most incredible moments have been when friends or family have helped me in my need. My deepest relationships are those that have been part of my desperate neediness. Most of all my faith in Father God has been the most strengthened when I am in times of need and showing my greatest weaknesses.
This is my heart for us as a family and for you as the reader – that we would be authentic people that give and help those in need when we are well and whole. But when we are in need that we would acknowledge it has an opportunity, not a weakness. That we would find our safe places and fall apart and depend on others. That instead of hiding from others and running away from God, we would run towards Him and receive all the help we need from Him as well as from the people that he has surrounded us with.
Philippines 2:13 says “Be energetic in your life of salvation, reverent and sensitive before God. The energy is God’s energy, an energy deep within you, God himself willing and working at what will give him the most pleasure.”
Now we have to ask what gives him the most pleasure? Sounds a little selfish doesn’t it?
Luke 12:32, “Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”
Now we have to ask what is the kingdom? What will we get from that? Oh…now I am sounding a little selfish!
Romans 14:17 God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy.
Being set right, put together and walking in joy…now that sounds like something I need. Sounds like God is “taking a necessary course of action,” to meet my needs.
So I go back to the first part that tells me I am not doing this with my own energy. God’s energy is deep within me, God himself is willing and working in me. Phew! If I was doing this in my own energy I think I might have been done a couple of weeks ago.
But I can sense Him…
His presence, His love, His smile…on me, on us. He is proud of us – He is happy with us and in the most emotional and challenging times he opens his arms to us. I do not know that angry God that sits on a throne away from his people and judges, and comments from afar. I only know the Good Father – who draws near to me when I draw near to him (James 4:8) and who before I even made move towards him he has already thrown open the doors to welcome me. (Romans 5:2)